The NBA Substance Report: #22 Out of 30 - Karl-Anthony Towns



What the fuck is popping everybody? My sincerest apologies for abandoning the internet for so long, I had some priorities to attend to with the boy Hotto. I'm back from Mexico and am beyond ready to talk some more hoops after a week long departure from the NBA.


Before we things get started; I'd like to thank the guy, Jack Martin, for taking over the Substance Report rankings for me in the mean time. The Martian and I will be back this Tuesday with a new episode of The Fro and The Flow, so stay tuned for that as well.


Here's a cool link that will take you to a website where you can listen to any of the 11 episodes we've done so far for free. Come on, listen to that shit, it's fucking free. WHAT MORE CAN YOU ASK FROM US?


Now, it's time to get back to the rankings.


THE RUNDOWN


To all of the loyal The Fro and The Flow podcast fans out there, I'm sure you're aware that Jack Martin and I have a nearly-weekly segment titled Watch The Throne (Yes, the segment is inspired by the greatest collaboration of all-time, Watch The Throne, by Jay-Z and Kanye West).


During this podcast segment, Jack Sparkin' and I break down the most talented basketball players in the world at that current moment by ranking them 1-15 (Think of it like this: If you were to start an NBA team today from scratch, zilch, nada, who would be the first player that you'd choose to help you win if they were all available?).


Because Jack and I are so dedicated to watching, observing, and sucking however much milk we can out of the NBA's utter, and are also two separate human beings, we have some disagreements every so often.


This daily column over the next 23 days will be relatively similar to that segment. The biggest, and most important difference is that this cluster fuck of a ranking will be an attempt towards breaking down the most valuable players in the NBA in accordance with how vital they are to their team's success.


(Say, if you took Stephen Curry off of the Golden State Warriors, would they still be able to win a championship this season? Or if you took Giannis off of the Bucks would they win 45 games? And other hypothetical things of that nature).


This is what the rankings look like so far.


THE SUBSTANCE REPORT RANKINGS


30. Lou "Two Girls and They Get Along Like I'm Lou Will" Williams

29. Domantas "Arvydas's Son" Sabonis

28. Montrezl "Holy Shit That Guy Tries Hard" Harrell

27. Mike "Never Leaving Memphis Because Cash Rules Everything Around Me C.R.E.A.M.!" Conley

26. Klay "Not Just Steph's Sidekick" Thompson

25. Trae "Ugliest Player in the League" Young

24. Ben "Kendall Jenner&#