Before we dive into the deep catalog of this year's best ballads (and there were a lot of them, so I decided to choose 100 instead of eighteen or ten), I would appreciate it if you joined me in a really quick mental exercise. There are only three steps, I promise this won't take very long. So please, indulge me.
First step: Take your imagination, and put your imaginary self in a booth at your favorite bar.
(Let's say just for the sake of this hypothetical situation that it's a Wednesday night and there's no school or work on your agenda tomorrow.)
You are now, in your illustrious imagination, seated in a booth with three of your best friends. You don't have to choose your friends, cause they aren't important in this exercise. They're only important in real life.
Second step: Now, use your imagination to come to the realization that this bar is only going to be playing country music for the rest of the long night ahead of you.
(This particular bar's selection isn't decent country music like Johnny Cash, but is more or less complete dog shit like Taylor Swift, with fifty screaming women "singing" along).
Third and final step: Okay, now here's the big one.
Think very carefully during this portion of the exercise.
Because this final step will determine the rest of your night.
Pick ONE SONG that you want to listen to, with your headphones that you prophetically brought from home, once every five country songs.
At no point in the night are you allowed to change songs. You are obliged to return to the same track once every twenty or so minutes. Got it? Sweet.
Oh, and you're the only one who's hearing this song, because of the headphones, so you kind of look like a lunatic, but that's okay because who isn't somewhat smothered in lunacy at some point in their life?
The purpose of this mental exercise was to demonstrate that you cannot simply choose one song and be content with it. You need time to consider which track would be the most beneficial for your mood, the same mood that is destined to be doomed by the fifty screaming Taylor Swiftians.
I hope you chose a song that will provide a healthy escape for your ears, and soul.
Thank you for participating, and more importantly, thank you for reading this article. I'll do my best to make it enjoyable for you, while simultaneously plugging you with some banging songs from the year 2018.
100. Walk It Talk It - Migos feat. Drake
It's safe to say that the Migos didn't enjoy near the level of success this year that they did in 2017. Culture II just wasn't as memorable of a project as its predecessor. Quavo's redundancy became dry, and his ascension last year was flipped upside down after this year. Luckily for him, Takeoff and Offset had decent enough years to keep the Migos afloat.
99. Notice Me - Migos feat. Post Malone
I don't care for Culture II whatsoever, but this song is groovy as fuck thanks to the Posty feature.
98. 10 Freaky Girls - Metro Boomin feat. 21 Savage
97. Cable Guy - Key! feat. Jay Critch
96. Monster - 21 Savage feat. Childish Gambino
95. HATE THE REAL ME - Future
94. Nowhere2go - Earl Sweatshirt
93. Bands - Comethazine
92. Choppa Won't Miss - Playboi Carti feat. Young Thug
90. King's Dead - Kendrick Lamar feat. Jay Rock & Future
High-pitched Future, aggressive Kendrick, and wavy Jay Rock. There's not much more you can ask for from a track in 2018.
89. R.I.P. Screw - Travis Scott feat. Swae Lee
Personally, I enjoy the chopped version much better, but the original is just as hypnotizing as any other slow track this year had to offer.
88. Toronto - Key! & Kenny Beats
87. Last Memory - Takeoff
86. MAMA - 6ix9ine feat. Kanye West & Nicki MInaj
Fuck 6ix9ine and everything that he stands for, and has done in order to claim the fame that he has. But, this song goes hard as fuck. One of the few Kanye verses that actually stuck with me this year.
85. 122 Days - $UICIDEBOY$
84. Opera - D Savage
I shit you not, I was bumping this song like fifteen times a day for two weeks straight. D Savage is next up, and you can't change my mind on that.
83. Blue Tint - Drake
82. Hot Now - Wiz Khalifa
I waited YEARS for Rolling Papers 2 to finally come out. Once it did, I was incredibly underwhelmed to say the least. This was the only track that has really stuck with me since, but nevertheless, it's one that I appreciate greatly and really capitalizes on Wiz's skills as a lyricist and singer.
81. I Love It - Kanye West & Lil Pump
This provocative duet on behalf of two of hip-hop's most hated is a tune that will surely get your grandma to throw that ass in a circle.
80. SoHo - Jaden Smith
This is the song that you play with your lover on top of a mountain while the sun is setting. The actual Jaden Smith song titled "Play This On A Mountain At Sunset" is not even half of the vibe that "SoHo" is.
79. Car Sick - Gunna feat. Nav
Nav, Gunna, and Tesla pills. A truly great Atlanta-Toronto collaboration that helped put Gunna on the map.
T-78. Jaded - Drake
T-78. Peak - Drake
I refuse to put one of these Side B Drizzy tracks over the other. They each make me shed an equal amount of tears, feel an equal amount of awful, and make me move like a late 90's R&B singer who just wants to prove to his baby mama that his love for both her and his homies is equally real.
76. Foreign - Playboi Carti
Playboi's DieLit! featured several tracks that had been leaked to SoundCloud prior to the album's official release, but that doesn't make the tracks any less valuable. "Foreign" is Playboi showcasing that he can turn any ordinary beat into a banger through his childish, yet enticing and unique dialect.
75. Gmail - Sheck Wes (SHECK JESUS!)
This song won the award for "Making Me Want To Slam My Hand Through A Cement Wall In The Name of Hip-Hop". I think that's the area of concentration for Sheck Jesus going forward.
I just want to take a moment to mention how much I fucking adore Key. Here it is, this is that moment.
73. Noticed - Lil Mosey