'Ted Lasso' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: This Show is TV-MA Now?

(Apple TV+)

This week was full of heart, as it always tends to be, but also a little bit of promiscuity! Which is very fun when you decide to take your boyfriend home to meet your parents and watch the episode together as a bonding exercise. But enough with the self-pity - this week we feel pain for none other than Jaime Tartt. Jamie has found himself exiled from his Love Island-esque reality show almost as quickly as he abandoned his team at Manchester to join it, and now he’s in a bit of a predicament. And where do we turn with a predicament? To Ted, of course.

Pretty early on in this week’s episode, we meet Jaime and Ted (and the ever-lovely Mae, cheeky as ever) for a discussion on Jaime’s return to Richmond. In a moment that I found to be slightly surprising - but that apparently nobody else I was watching with cared about - Ted turned Jaime down, claiming it was probably not their best idea to bring his attitude and energy back to the Greyhounds, regardless of the fact that they have yet to finish a game in anything but a tie and that Jaime remains one of the leading scorers in the country. In my mind, the only reason he even showed back up this season was to rejoin Richmond and continue building from where he left off last season. Remember when he *sniff* made the extra pass? I was eating that up.

Anyways, the locals at the bar end up posting a couple of pictures of Ted and Jaime together at the bar, and the team - particularly our loveable Sam - thinks he’s coming back. They are pissed about it, to say the absolute least. In a bit of a twist, Sam actually screams at Ted and storms off the pitch. Ted follows him into the locker room, figures out where the miscommunication lies, and assures Sam that Jaime is NOT returning - at which point our normal Sam returns, apologizing profusely for yelling and then offering to run laps.

For whatever reason, this seems to change Ted’s mind. The episode ends with Jaime strutting back onto Richmond’s pitch, and with Sam throwing Ted a look of the deepest betrayal. My family was not thrilled about this choice, but I am certain this is going somewhere wonderful. I cannot wait.

What else is going on? Becca is still traversing the online dating world, which I’m hoping is going to take us somewhere interesting or impactful because I think it really detracts from her girl-boss prowess to have the majority of her scenes this season revolve around internet men. Especially British internet men.

Dr. Fieldstone is on as a full-time consultant to the team now - a decision that Higgins made without Ted and that Ted seems, to use his lingo, mightily uncertain about. He spends a lot of time this week trying to charm the doctor into breaking character, which she, in turn, uses to analyze him. It’s funny, but it’s also sad. I see a major Ted breakdown in our future, and my heart already hurts.

Keeley and Roy are rated R this week. After Jaime comes back and pulls Keeley for a quick chat, we see her in bed, watching something on her phone and having, ahem, special personal time. Naturally, we fear this is footage of Jaime, but when Roy walks in and confronts her, it turns out she is turned on by his TEARY EYED AND EXTREMELY WONDERFUL retirement announcement video that we (I) have been WAITING to see. She loves his “vulnerability”. Roy, in turn, finally agrees to take the gig as a pundit, and to nobody's surprise, he is a smashing success. His swearing is as funny and somehow charming as ever, and the audience loves him. I think we’ll get to see more of this in the coming weeks, and I am very happy about this. Upon his triumphant return home from his television debut, he thanks Keeley for her hard work by putting on his retirement speech and engaging in, ahem, special couple time. Very family-appropriate. Good thing I will be alone for next week’s episode.

Episode rating: 3.5

Funniest line: Jaime’s agent telling him after he was kicked off of his dating show: “You know you’re like a son to me. But now you’re like a dead son. Which means I love you even more!”

Funniest scene: When Ted asks Beard and Nate if Dr. Fieldstone is moving closer to the field or not out of paranoia, but then when we cut back to the bleachers she’s like 6 rows closer to the field. I cackled.