MARTIAN'S MINUTE: May 29, 2019



Hey, it's Martian back again. These intros are getting harder and harder because what else is there to say? I guess I'll use up this one to shamelessly self-promote the podcast I co-host with Ralph Compiano, aka The Fro, "The Fro and The Flow". We've taken a bit of time off to get our creative juices flowing and... we're honestly just lazy. But we have a new studio set up and we're ready to go so with that being said, SEASON 2 is being recorded this afternoon and should be available to listen either tonight or tomorrow morning. Follow Burbs on Instagram and get us to 1,000 followers and if you do that, you might as well follow The Fro and The Flow on there too.


Damn, slow news day today (or should I say yesterday). Somebody do something reckless!


Hoops


Are the Rockets about to blow it all up?

I usually try and have the Minute planned out the day before release so that this is a rundown of the previous day's events, but I'm not perfect. I was in a car for like four hours yesterday and slept for half of that so sue me for not being filled in 100% of the time. This was not a Woj bomb I was expecting to see when I opened up Twitter. The Houston Rockets have been the only team to give the Golden State Warriors legitimate problems in the playoffs the last two seasons, especially in 2018 when they took the series to seven games. It's believed by many, including myself, that if Chris Paul hadn't gone down with a hamstring injury in the penultimate game, the Rockets would've advanced, and probably won, the Finals. This postseason's battle wasn't as nail-biting and when Kevin Durant went down with a left calf injury, it seemed like this was finally the time for the Warriors to be brought down. But no, they somehow got better and eliminated the Rockets in six games. Just like that, James Harden's (deserving of) MVP season was over and the Warriors will appear in their fifth-straight championship on Thursday.


I'm not going to make anyone sit through another obsessive paragraph about Harden because I've already spent the last eight or so months doing that, but yeah, he was the best player in the league this season. I picked him as my MVP and thought he'd bring the Rockets to a Finals victory but like most things, I was wrong. The team around him this year wasn't necessarily filled with stars besides CP3 and Clint Capela, and the Warriors are the Warriors, so it's tough to put all the blame on him. Houston has largely ran the same team back the last two seasons and by falling short yet again, maybe GM Daryl Morey is onto something by starting a bit of a rebuild. I'd love to see Kevin Love somehow wind up on the Rockets; his trade value probably isn't that high, he's won a ring, and he'd slot in well to form a bit of a Fab Four with Harden, CP3, and Capela. Morey has been able to assemble teams in the past that have overachieved so if he wants to switch things up a bit, I'm here for it. I just want to see Harden win a ring.


Apparently everyone on the roster is available. I don't see any scenario in which Harden is dealt; can CP3 even be sent somewhere? That contract is massive, he's going to be pulling in over $40 million in his age-36 season.


Anthony Davis is meeting with David Griffin today


I'm not going to speculate too much on this because I (for some reason) won't be in the room for this meeting. After the Pels secured the number one pick in the upcoming draft, which will almost certainly be used to select Duke super-prospect Zion Williamson, David Griffin made it clear that he has no intentions of trading Anthony Davis, at least not now. The whole fiasco involving AD, his (and LeBron's) agent Rich Paul, and the Lakers' front office has been well-documented and it was a god damn mess that somehow is yet to be cleaned up. There's still talk about AD being traded this summer to a number of teams, but I just don't see it happening. I think NOLA is going to draft Zion, try and make some savvy signings, and attempt to get AD to re-sign. I'd consider Davis an all-time great at this point and he's only going to build onto his legacy; if Zion is the real deal, why not play alongside him? Griffin is one of the smartest front office guys in the league, at least in my opinion, so it'll be really interesting to see if he can drastically swing AD's opinion on his future with the Pelicans.


Film


Detective Pikachu goes hard in the paint


only criticism: i wish pikachu would've sparked a spliff with his tail. maybe in the sequel.

We finally got around to seeing Detective Pikachu last night and let me tell you, it did not disappoint. Pokemon was a vital part of my childhood; I beat the life out of those games. I'll never forget, I had finished Pearl (I think?) and was boofin' around in the game just illin' it with my character and uber-powerful Pokemon. There wasn't much left for me to do, so naturally I hacked the game with one of my buddy's Action Replays. If you're from the DS-era, you know what I'm talking about. I accessed lands that were only in the game's code; I had Pokemon that weren't supposed to be in that version. And what sunk me? Berries, fucking stupid berries. I used the AR to get unlimited berries and everything went black. Only my character, who was a girl because we're inclusive dawg, was left on the screen and I couldn't recover it. Hours, days, just gone. Wiped. Damn, I might tear up a bit.


Detective Pikachu was a nostalgia trip. The CGI was honestly breathtaking, which makes sense because of the movie's $150 million budget, and the Pokemon all looked super real. Ryan Reynolds absolutely murdered it; he has the perfect sarcastic voice. His one-liners and under-the-breathe comments were more often than lot funny, and most of them felt like they were directed at an older audience. I saw that some critics went after the plot a bit and called it "typical" but if you're going out of your way to critique a movie called Detective Pikachu as a genuinely serious project, you gotta lighten up. This is the movie I was dying for as a kid and I need more NOW. If you grew up with Pokemon and haven't gotten a chance to see this yet, do it. Gotta catch 'em all!


I was at a birthday party in second grade and for some reason we were left unattended with a computer and someone was looking up Pokemon stuff. Long story short, and sparring details, he found a fucked up fan made picture that involved Misty, Pikachu, and a cross. I think it explains a lot about who I've become.

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