MARTIAN'S MINUTE: June 4, 2019

I was going to make a video intro for today but laziness yet again snatched my ankles in our ceaseless 1v1 series. The video intros are going to start tomorrow and I may try and figure out how to incorporate audio, too. If you have any suggestions or anything you'd like to see in the Minute, let me know. If you're reading this (it's too late) you probably have a way to reach me. Thanks for keeping up.


Tyler, The Creator announces IGOR tour

Somebody cue "WHAT'S GOOD", IGOR is going on tour! I still kick myself for not going to see Tyler at Lolla last summer but there's nothing I can do about that now; I can only look to the future. Thankfully for me, Tyler just announced the IGOR tour and corresponding dates, one of them being in Chicago. I've never gone to the arena near UIC because I've never stepped foot on that campus, but I'm open for anything. He could say he has a show in the most dangerous, meth-filled trailer park west of Lake Arlington and you can bet your ass I'd be there. The park inhabitants would probably be super down to rage. If I'm being honest, I don't know who Blood Orange and Goldlink are (looks like I'm gonna have to start listening), but obviously I know who Jaden Smith is. It looks like Jaden will be at the Chicago stop so that's awesome. Him and Tyler have clear chemistry and both can put on a show, so it's safe to say I'm excited.

IGOR is still as incredible now as it was during the first listen-through; I'm determined to see it performed live. I absolutely despise long car rides and road trips but would make a definite exception for this. If I can't make the Chicago show for some reason, I'll be in attendance at another. This is simply a can't-miss tour for me and hopefully my shirt gets shipped soon so I can proudly rep it while having an out-of-body experience listening to "Earfquake".

Read my love letter to IGOR. I just skimmed through it and it's really good because I wrote it; of course it's good. Everything I touch turns to art.


Big Little Lies is awesome

Zoe Kravitz is my new celebrity crush and it's not even close

I've been on the mf HBO grind lately, knocked out Thrones, Barry, a smidge of Veep, and now we're on to Big Little Lies. Yeah, I still have way too much time on my hands but at least I'm not filling it with normal person network sitcoms. Yuck! With season two of BLL coming next Sunday (I think), I knew I had to catch up so I can finally watch a show as it's airing for the first time in years. Hopefully I can knock this last episode out before work, but I almost went through the whole thing in a day. It's only six episodes and they move quick. The whole murder is still kind of confusing because they don't really tell you who's dead (I have a hunch, though), but maybe I'm supposed to be confused.

The entire cast kills it and honestly it's a Warriors-esque lineup of actresses: Reese Witherspoon, Nicole Kidman, Shailene Woodley, Laura Dern, and last but absolutely not least, Zoe Kravitz. I'm not sure if everyone is going to be back for season two because maybe one of them is about to get merked, but I'm not there yet. Adam Scott and Alexander Skarsgard both do awesome jobs, even if Skarsgard plays a mega piece of shit; I kinda hope his character is the one that gets killed.

It's a pretty heavy show as it deals with domestic violence, sexual assault, infidelity, murder, and bullying, but it's never done in an over-the-top way. BLL provides a nice look into rich, West Coast families and the seemingly "normal" (even though a lot of the dark, domestic stuff is definitely not normal) issues they face; unraveling a murder mystery alongside it makes it that much more intriguing. Most of the characters are fucking awful people (Laura Dern does a stellar job as a total, conniving bitch) yet I'm still "rooting" for some of them. Why do all these shows make it so easy to root for the shittiest people on the planet? Maybe because they too are massive narcissists.

You're just going to have to watch for yourself; these few episodes have me super excited for this Sunday. I'll definitely be doing weekly rundowns/recaps on the Minute or elsewhere. Stay tuned.

I should've mentioned this earlier. The show is beautifully shot and has one of my favorite opening credit scenes maybe ever. It takes place in Marina, California, and only makes me grow more desperate to move there as soon as I can. The houses are all so, so sick, even if they're inhabited by scumbags. So yeah, there it is. I'm done rambling.

Martian (singular)

I bought some coasters so now I'm an adult

They even blend into the table. These coasters were the first in a long string of adult purchases. I got a candle and some Febreeze because the OG Skunk Butt has been making the living room smell like the dumps my dog leaves in the corner next to my bed; I'm thinking a plant is next. Maybe a painting. OK, you don't care anymore. Catch y'all tomorrow.